Bits of String too Small to Save

blackandwhitecoverBits of String too Small to Save is a novel I like to describe as "Lemony Snicket for adults."

Prim, persnickety ElizabethAnn, her race-car driving grandma, and their happily brainless dog, Jackson, escape from the futuristic police state of No Oaks, cross the space/time continuum, and fall up into the wooded dystopia of Bumblegreen. In ElizabethAnn's attempt to save all three of them from certain doom and find a more hospitable home, she grapples with the colliding forces of magic and technology, overcomes an aversion to smelly, unpleasant things, and tries awfully hard to stand up against millions of evil butterflies.

In the beautiful but troubled land of Bumblegreen, mothers are allergic to their own children, so monkeys have been scientifically altered to raise human children; understandably, everyone wants to escape through secret portals to other worlds, but these were permanently closed when they caused a horrible blight, which was even worse than the baby allergy. Oh, and now, a new disease is sweeping the land, which turns innocent, happy animals into confused, neurotic people. Only Grandma knows how to save Bumblegreen from this never-ending series of ecological and social nightmares, but she must remain in hiding or else laws decree she will be executed by being dropped into a pool of angry sting rays, stinging nettles in bloom, swimming hungry sharks, or whatever. 

Will young ElizabethAnn manage to follow Grandma's ever-so-vague instructions and find the hundred-year-old blind magician who holds the key to reversing the improvements that have ruined Bumblegreen? Or will thirteen-year-old Queen Dahlia be forced by the powerful monkey tribunal to subject Grandma, ElizabethAnn, and even Jackson to a dramatic, public execution?

In Bits of String too Small to Save, intelligence battles intuition, animals ponder the troubles of humanity, and you, dear reader, must ask yourself, will magic avenge our heroine? Will technology help her? Or has ElizabethAnn simply arrived too late to save beautiful, mysterious Bumblegreen?

Bits of String too Small to Save, with beautiful artwork by Philip Harris, will be released soon, and you can get the first section as a free ebook, so stay tuned!