Let's face it, Game of Thrones is having a serious identity crisis. It thinks it's The Walking Dead, now. From a fiction writer's perspective, the situation is disturbing. Sure, Walking Dead doesn't own the zombie archetype, anyone can use it, but it's about the way Thrones is using it. The whole army of the dead thing started to unravel over the problem of weapons. Used to be the living dead on Game of Thrones had to kill their victims with weapons, meanwhile the walkers on Walking Dead had to kill their victims by biting them. That wasn't a huge difference, but it was something. But in these last couple of Thrones episodes I've noticed a lot of these lazy zombies don't bother carrying weapons anymore. They just kind of embrace and engulf their prey, and maybe bite them, it's unclear. This makes no sense. Getting bit by a skeleton just isn't going to kill anyone. In fact, the scary zombie that was presented at the great meeting of the Lanisters and everybody in yesterdays episode--it wasn't scary at all, because it had no weapon. UNLESS you were worried about it biting you, or strangling you? Or shedding old skin on you? I mean what exactly can these things do to you without a weapon? Scare you to death? Boo! Their crumbly old zombie jaws wouldn't kill a live human.

The whole issue with The Dead on Thrones was that they carried weapons and had the strength to kill you, plus they couldn't be killed, but someone in the Thrones writing room seems to have forgotten that the Thrones' dead don't carry viruses like the Walking Dead dead do. They're just animated skeletal remains. The lesson here being--and as someone who writes both international memoir and fantasy, I take this to heart--when you're creating a world, in fiction or memoir, you have to know the rules and stick to them, otherwise, like a sad, undead skeleton, your story starts to crumble.

Thrones is a strong enough story to withstand some zombie inconsistencies, but come on, this is a WAR, which is all about WEAPONS. So, Thrones writers, what exactly are the zombies' weapons and how exactly do they kill people? I want answers.